


Beginnings: Alan

by nhpw



Series: The Re-Education 'Verse [4]
Category: Tron: Legacy (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, BDSM dungeon, M/M, Prequel, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-24 19:44:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4932847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nhpw/pseuds/nhpw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alan remembers his early days as a Dominant and his first encounter with a submissive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beginnings: Alan

**Author's Note:**

> There's much more to this series and a lot left to explore in this universe, but from this point forward, none of it has ever been posted anywhere before. Some of it has had at most one edit from a person other than myself. Some of it is seeing the light of day for the very first time in its posting here. I take responsibilities for any inconsistencies and errors.
> 
> "Beginnings" are prequels, background anecdotes, reflections on how these characters came to be where they are in the present-day of this 'verse. After being indecisive for some time about how these should be posted, I decided that each is its own interlude and so they'll be interspersed in the series where they fit best. Alan's is integral to the events of upcoming books, so he gets to go first. Enjoy.

Alan had known for years that he was a bit… different… when it came to his sexuality.  In the 1970s, “gay” was a term whispered in back alleys and secret clubs.  It wasn’t a “loud and proud” state – more of an “alone and afraid” kind of thing.  And so Alan suspected, but he kept his secret to himself, mostly because he was afraid what might become of him if he told.

But it wasn’t just that Alan was gay.  He felt a pulled toward a certain… specialty, and for that he _did_ go out.  He did go to clubs, and he did buy porn and hide it under his mattress so that his CalTech roommate wouldn’t find it.  He did quietly research until he knew there was a safe place he could go.

It started in a bar.  Alan was 25, and he looked damn good in black leather.  He didn’t generally smoke, but he took the cigarette when it was offered to him at the door and lifted it to his lips.  Inhaled.  Then he ventured inside.

Through the smoky haze he watched a scene from afar, a muscular and rough-looking male dominant with a female submissive who was clearly being publicly punished for something Alan had missed – or perhaps it was just a display of power, he didn’t know.  They were in a scene, at any rate, and he had her on her knees by her very long and curly blond hair.  Tears were making her mascara run.  Men and women of varied ages looked on, and Alan took up a position near the back, leaning up against a wooden support that was probably as old as he was.

“You’re new.”

Alan turned his head at the voice and found himself looking into possibly the only neutral face in the room.  By his approach Alan guessed him a Dom, but his clothing gave nothing away to the fact.  He nodded carefully.

“Name’s Paulie, but the folks here call me Sarge.  I’m the dungeon master here.  You know what that means?”

“I do.”

“Good.  You come alone?”

“Yup.”  Alan took another drag on the cigarette and narrowed his eyes at this… Sarge.  “That a problem?”

“Not at all, Mister, long as you play by the rules.  Any uncollared sub is fair game if they want to play with you, but you find yourself with an interest in somebody who’s already been tagged, you’ll need to work that out with…his… Master.”  Sarge raised his eyebrows as if expecting Alan to challenge his assumption.  When Alan didn’t, he nodded and continued.  “Nobody’ll judge you here so long as you’re respectful.  We promote the kink, but no abuse.  That means you don’t leave marks, you don’t strike with a closed fist, you don’t mutilate, you don’t rape, you don’t any of that, you got me?"

“It’s not about that for me,” Alan returned.  His eyes were back on the scene with the man and the woman, and although it wasn’t going anywhere toward getting him hot or getting him off, he watched.  She was sucking his cock now – or rather, he was fucking her throat, something Alan longed to do.  She wore a collar, too – so presumably she belonged to this man.

Alan wondered idly what it would feel like to truly have someone belong to him.  Not just someone he could fuck the way he wanted to fuck, not just someone who would do anything he asked… someone who truly cared for him the way he wanted to be cared for, and someone he could love in return.  It would be nice to find that someday… but Alan wasn’t holding his breath.

“Good man.  You been uh…”  He looked Alan up and down.  “You been on the scene long?”

“Nuh-uh.”

Sarge nodded.  Then he looked off to the right and pointed.  “See that guy?”

Alan followed Sarge’s finger to a male submissive wearing a studded collar.  He was probably five years younger than Alan, fair features, cropped and bleached blond hair, startling blue eyes.  Great body, too – bronzed, like he spent a lot of time at the beach, and muscular, at least from what Alan could see through the haze.  “Sure.”

“His Master’s quite the voyeur.  Likes to watch, likes to be watched.  Likes to bring that’n in here and have a little three-way with another Dom.  _Especially_ new Doms, you got me?”  At Alan’s mildly confused expression, he went on, “He likes to talk.  Likes to give orders, be a bit of a um… _backseat driver_.”

_Oh._

“You interested, you talk to the tall brunette.”  He gestured with his chin to the man standing behind the sub in question.  “Tell him I sent ya.”

Alan _was_ interested, and as the scene on display progressed to an ass-fucking while the Dom intermittently struck his sub with a riding crop, Alan stopped feigning interest and concentrated on making his way through the crowd to the couple.  The sub was even more beautiful up close, and as Alan drew close to his target, he felt his blood begin to run hot.  His nerves started to tingle, too – with anticipation, but also with a bit of fear.  He had never been in a scene before; had dreamed and wondered about being a Dom, knew the preference was there in his body chemistry but had never actually taken up the role.  In some ways he felt like a doctor gearing up to take on his first patient.  Would the boy know?  Would his Master?

There was only one way to find out, he supposed.

Given the noise level in the room and the considerable echo of the riding crop off the walls, he leaned in close so as to be sure he was heard but not overheard.  “Enjoying the show?”

The Dom turned his head, and when he laid eyes on Alan there was an unmistakable twinkle in his dark eyes.  “Not really,” he returned with a small smile, shifting away from the scene and turning to face Alan.  “He is, I suppose.  Enjoys seeing just about anyone up there who’s not him.”

“Mmmhmm.  I’d guess you’d prefer it more if both participants were men?”  There was a change in the sub’s posture, but he didn’t turn away from the scene.  His Master reached down and rested a flat hand on the top of his head, and Alan watched the gesture with great interest, wondering what it meant.

“Sarge send you over?”

“He did.”

The Dom chuckled and shook his head.  “He knows just how to pick ‘em.”  He gave Alan a once-over with his eyes.  “All right.  You’re new around here, ain’t ya?”  Alan nodded and the Dom extended a hand.  “Name’s Cal.  This’s Tony… when he’s worthy of a name.”  Cal exerted more pressure behind the hand on Tony’s head, and Tony flinched.

“Alan.”

“Well, Alan.  Let’s say we get a private room in the back where we can all get a little… better acquainted.  Tony.  Come.”  He tugged a leash Alan hadn’t noticed before, and for some reason the sight of it made him flinch a little.  There was a scream from the female sub, but it was background noise at this point.  Alan’s attention was focused on the couple leading him to the back of the bar and on the glint of the light off Tony’s leash.

“There are some who believe,” Cal began as he closed the door to a private room behind the three of them and fastened the end of Tony’s leash to one of the posts of the rickety four-posted bed in the room, “that a person can’t learn to be a Dom until he’s been a sub first.  You believe that, Alan?”

“Not especially.”

Cal gave a nod and ventured over to the black leather recliner that was adjacent to the bed.  He sat down and crossed his right leg over his left.  “I never did either.  But tonight, I’m the Alpha in this room, understood?  I won’t touch you, but you don’t do anything to him without my say so.”

Alan nodded his understanding, and Cal responded with a wave of his hand.  “Touch him.” 

Alan’s fingers danced along Tony’s spine and the sub whimpered and arched up into the touch.  “Shhh,” Alan hushed, and he brought his hand up to Tony’s head and ran his fingers through the blond hair.  His roots, Alan could see now, were chestnut – clearly Cal preferred blonds.  He’d gone to a lot of trouble to make Tony one.

“What are you doing?”

The voice from across the room startled Alan.  “Touching him,” he replied, not looking up from the top of Tony’s head.  The sub was whimpering even more now, clearly straining not to lean into Alan’s touch.

“No.  Touch him like _this_.”  Cal got up from his chair and flashed Alan a look that said he didn’t care to be doing so.  He grabbed Tony’s ass roughly and the whimper turned to a mewl.  “You have to keep a sub in his place, you understand?  Can’t go around being all soft and slow or they’ll start to think they’re entitled to that.  Open.”  Cal stepped in front of Tony now and opened his black leather pants to free his cock, which he immediately shoved into Tony’s open, eager mouth.  Alan couldn’t help noticing the way Tony gagged as he struggled to adjust to having his throat fucked.

“Has he done something wrong?” Alan asked, face set in a deep frown.  Then a better question occurred to him.  “Do you love him?”

Cal returned Alan’s look with a quizzical one of his own.  “He’s a _submissive_ ,” Cal intoned as though it burdened him to have to explain this.  “A whore.  He doesn’t need to be loved by me.  He just needs to have his holes filled.”

Alan watched Tony close his eyes and surrender to having his throat abused by his Master.  “He’s a submissive,” Alan agreed, returning a gentle touch to Tony’s left ass cheek, “But he’s not a whore.”

At Alan’s observation, everything in the room stilled, save for Alan’s hand, which continued to caress the sub’s behind in slow, soothing circles.  When Alan met Cal’s eyes, there was fire burning in them, and Alan realized he was likely not going to finish this scene, so he might as well continue his train of thought.  Maybe, at the very least, something would click in Tony’s mind and he’d go off in search of someone who would treat him better.

“You initiated this scene, not him.  He appears eager to serve you… but not me.  This was your decision.”

“He’s a submissive,” Cal repeated, this time dangerously low, his eyes not leaving Alan’s for a second.  “He exists to be used.”

“He’s not a slave any more than he’s a whore.  He _chooses_ to be used.  He _chooses_ to serve you.  He could leave you at any time.  Have you ever considered the fact that a sub holds all the cards?”

Now Cal removed his cock from Tony’s mouth and advanced on Alan.  “Get out.”

Alan looked beyond Cal as he got to his feet, and he couldn’t help noticing that Tony’s eyes were glued on him.  “He has rights.”

“Get.  Out.”

“And he has a name.  He’s a person, and he’s always worthy of that name.”

“ _NOW_.”

Alan nodded and brushed past Cal, giving one last glance down at Tony.  “You’re a good boy,” he said solemnly, and the sub met his eyes for as long as he dared.  “A good boy.”

And then he left the room, stepping back into the loud, smoky atmosphere of the rest of the club.  The man and woman from before had finished their scene and either disappeared into the crowd or gone home, Alan didn’t know and didn’t really care.  He gave a brief glance at the scene going on now – two women and a man, and Alan didn’t watch long enough to figure out who was in charge there.  He fixed his eyes on the front door and didn’t look back.

“That was quick.”

Sarge was standing guard at the door, and his observation made Alan give pause, but he didn’t turn around.  “It wasn’t really my thing,” he replied, his tone flat and faraway. 

“What exactly is your ‘thing’?”

Alan shook his head at the question.  “Nothing I’ll find here.”  He gave that statement some thought, and then dug into his back pocket.  Not much fit in the pockets of his too-tight pants, but he had carried his wallet, so he could at least carry his ID and some cash for a drink or two.  He also had exactly one business card.  “But if that boy of Cal’s comes asking about me, you give him this.”  He handed over the business card.  It was a long shot, but hey – he could spare the card. 

“You won’t be back, will you?”

“No.”  And with that, Alan set out into the night, leaving behind the smoke and the echo of whips and screams.  He heard the rickety door slam shut behind him, and that was all.  It was late, and he’d wasted nearly the whole evening looking for something he didn’t find.

He headed home, where he poured himself a fifth of bourbon, slammed it back and headed to bed.

Two long and confusing days passed before there was a knock at his front door midday on a gloomy Saturday, and as most of his friends knew to come in through the garage, he was curious and looked outside.  A glimpse and he was giddy to get the door open.  “I wasn’t sure you’d come.”

The young man on his front stoop shrugged and looked at his feet.  “I couldn’t leave Mast—Cal.  Not at first.  Not until he…”  Tony paused, bit his lip, and almost-but-not-quite lifted his eyes to meet Alan’s.  “Did you mean what you said?”

“Every word.”

“I’ve never…”  His voice was so quiet as he continued that Alan had to lean forward to hear him.  “I’m not sure what it’s like to be with someone who cares about me as more than… you know.”

“Say it.”  Alan was starting to hope, and he wanted to start right here – he would inspire confidence and pride in this young man, if he did nothing else for him.  “Don’t be ashamed.”

“As more than a sub.  A whore.”  Tony swallowed.  “As a person.”

“You’re not a whore.”  When Tony only stared at the ground and said nothing, Alan sighed.  “You enjoy being dominated.  You enjoy surrendering your body to another.  But there is more to you than what gets you off.”  

“It’s been a long time since I knew what that was.”

Alan nodded, even though the young man wasn’t looking at him.

“Can I speak freely, Sir?”

 _Sir_.  Alan rolled the honorary around in his mind.  He liked the way it rolled off Tony’s tongue.  He shrugged himself into the role like trying on a new, comfortable jacket for the first time to see if it fit.  “Go ahead.”

“I would like very much to play with you.  I find you… arousing… you…”  Tony cleared his throat.  When he spoke again, he did so eloquently, as though he’d been thinking about this for days.  “Cal is a Dom.  For two years, he was my Master.  But you, Alan Sir, you carry yourself with a confidence that he lacked in spite of his position.  I always felt, in the slightest of ways, abused by Cal.  My pleasure was secondary to his, rather than interlocked.  I… do not feel that you would take advantage of me in the same way.”

“I believe a confident, assertive Dom turns out the best submissives.” Now Tony was looking up at him, hopeful.  Alan offered a smile.  “In the interest of full disclosure,” he began, “I’ve… never done this before.”

“I assumed as much, Sir.  Your ideas are a bit… unconventional.”

Alan nodded.  “So we’ll be starting from scratch.  But I would expect obedience, just as Cal did.  I may be looking for confidence, but that doesn’t mean I’ll tolerate insubordination or brattiness.”

“Do you have a set of House Rules, Sir?”

Alan laughed softly.  “You’ve only just showed up at my door.  I’m thinking on my feet, here.”  He bit his lip as Tony blushed and ducked his head.  “Let’s make a deal.  I will agree to be patient with you in the beginning, because I know Cal has you programmed a certain way and I intend to undo most of that.  I expect that may take some time.  In return, you’ll be patient with me as I… as I learn to be a good Dom.”

“Alan Sir… you…”  Tony cleared his throat.  “You have said that I am worthy of a name, of respect, that I have rights.  You have acknowledged me as a person.  You are already a good Dom.”

“Well.  I don’t know about that, but…”  Alan stepped back, holding the door open for the boy.  “Why don’t you come on inside?  We have a lot to figure out, and I think we’d both be more comfortable on my couch.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

Tony stepped into Alan’s home.  He carried only one duffel bag – presumably everything Cal had considered to belong to the boy.  It was a humble beginning.

But it was a beginning for them both.

***

Sam mulled the story over after Alan finished speaking.  They’d been sitting on their couch for over an hour, Sam’s head on Alan’s chest and Alan’s fingers running gently through his sub’s hair as the soothing, deep timber of his voice lulled Sam into a comfortable sense of security.

“What’s on your mind, Beautiful?” Alan asked after several minutes of silence.

“I never thought about it like that before,” Sam replied quietly.  “The part about a sub holding all the cards.”

“A confident sub,” Alan amended with a nod.  “And you do, because you always have your safewords, and you’re not afraid to use them.  And you always have your rights.  The greatest secret of this lifestyle is that when it’s done properly, the sub is actually the one in charge.  You willingly submit yourself to me, but your safewords, your rights, control every bend in the road that we travel.  And a confident Dom is willing to admit that he loves his sub… even if that makes him vulnerable.”  Alan paused.  “And I love you.”

“Love you, too.”  Sam was still deep in thought.  “What happened with Tony?”

“Mmmm…” Alan sighed and ran a hand along Sam’s arm.  “We were good for each other… right up until we weren’t.  I did what I said I’d do and built up Tony’s confidence, and once he was a confident sub, what he realized was that he wasn’t a sub at all.  The kink just didn’t do it for him anymore.”  Alan gave that a moment’s thought.  “It’s possible it never had.  He was an abuse victim, an orphan… an easy target for someone like Cal.  Just wanted to be loved, to know that he belonged… no matter the cost."  Alan paused again before admitting softly, “You remind me of him a lot.”

“Did you love him?”

A hard swallow and a nod, and Alan struggled and failed to keep the emotion out of his voice.  “Not at first, but over time I uh…”  He cleared his throat.  “I learned a lot from him, and when he left, my heart broke a little.  I hardened.  I spent some time and some relationships doing some things I’m not very proud of.  I thought that if I was in control… if I was in control, I couldn’t get hurt again.”

“Master?”

“Hmmm?”

“I’ll never leave you.”

“That’s very nice of you to say, Sam.”  Alan pulled the boy close, aware that his voice was still hoarse as he strained against tears.  “Still.  You always have that right.”

Sam took another long silence, and Alan just sat, enjoying the feel of the boy in his arms.  Finally Sam said, “Master, may I speak freely?”

“Sure,” Alan whispered with a nod, fingers finding their way to Sam’s abdomen and stroking lightly over the t-shirt Sam wore.

“I know we have our lifestyle and everything, and that I have the right to end it, but I think…  See, I’ve been giving it a lot of thought and I think it’s not just that you’re a Dom and I’m your collared sub.  It’s more than that.  Specifics aside, we have a relationship. At the beginning, what I needed was your strong guidance to tame me.  Now… now that I’m tamed, I still need you, you know?  Your guidance, your love… If possible, I think I need you even more.”

One tear broke the barrier, and Alan let it fall as he pulled Sam even closer.  “Thank you.”

They sat like that in silence for ten minutes… twenty… longer… until Sam broke it with a quiet voice.  “What changed?”

“What?”

“You hardened when Tony left and broke your heart.  But you’re not a cruel Master now. What changed?”

And that made Alan laugh.  “Ahh… believe it or not, your father did.”  Sam looked up, confused, and Alan kissed his temple.  “He wanted something different from me, and because he was a friend, I let it happen.  I may have never loved him like a lover, but I always loved him like a friend.”  Another kiss, this time into Sam’s hair at the top of his head.  “But that’s a story for another night.  Right now, it’s time for bed.”

“But—“

Alan gave Sam a warning look and the boy stopped mid-protest.  Alan stood and offered a hand to Sam, helping him to his feet.  Then he led Sam up the stairs to their bedroom, where he undressed the boy and himself and pulled back the bedcovers for them both.  Sam was asleep within minutes.  Alan laid awake long into the night.


End file.
